HEADLINES: FEBUARY 28th, 2019

Insider Reveals:  Trump "Butt-Dials" Mueller During Trump Tower Putin Conversation

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Makes Socialist Claim That "Tax Fraud is Illegal"

Youtube Pioneers Technology To Insert Advertisements Into Subscribers Dreams

Analysts Call Latest George W. Bush Painting "9/11 Confession"

Martians Issue Ultimatum on "Elvis Clone Baby" Hostage Situation

HEADLINES FEBUARY 27th, 2019

"Super Villain"  Senator Diane Feinstein Tells Small Children We "Have No Choice" But to Incinerate Small Helpless Puppies With Death Ray

Robert Mueller Scales Trump Tower in Search For More Information

Conservative Pundit Candace Owens Stirs Controversy With Claim That "Only Bad Thing Satan Did Was Try to Spread Evil Beyond Boarders of Hell"

Jordan Peterson:  Jungian "Snowflake" Archetype Prominent on American Campuses

Christian Group Wins First Legal Battle in Campaign to Build New "Hexagon" Military Headquarters, Replacing "Satanic" Pentagon.

Biologists Announce Discovery of "Mitochondrial Chad", Common Ancestor Of All "Manly Men"

FEBUARY 26th, 2019

Due to technical difficulties (My power being out last night and this morning) Daily Q will be publishing today's important headlines tomorrow.  We assure our regular readers that none of the withheld stories will be personally impactful (Except maybe the "Massive Asteroid to Strike Earth in Less Than 24 Hours)  Story.  See you all tomorrow!

HEADLINES: FEBUARY 25th, 2019

Schumer Defeats Trump Spending Bill With Clever "Got Your Nose!" Tactic

Right Wing Activist Charlie Kirk Comes Forward About Rare "Face Shrinking" Disorder

Reanimated Corpse of Nancy Reagan Warns Kids About the Dangers of Tide Pods, Fidget Spinners

Construction Engineer Reveals Stunning Globalist Backed Plan to Build "Satanic Symbols" Into Road Map of Ohio City

DNA Test Reveals Conservative Commentator Ben Shapiro Really Prehistoric Spineless Scaly LizardFish Thought to Have Been Extinct for Thousands of Years

Alien Abductee Reveals:  Giant Mothbat Men From Uranus Control Top GOP Officials With Psyonic Wing Dust 

HEADLINES FEBUARY 23rd, 2019

Insider Reveals GOP Plan to Send Mitt Romney Back in Time in Second Bid for 2008 Election

Former 2016 Rubio Staffer Claims Marco Rubio Was "Look Alike Robot" in Majority of Public Appearances

Bible Scholar:  Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Revealed to be Koch Brothers;  Mitch McConnell;  Trump

NASA Documents Show:  Obama Founded Secret ISIS Cell on the Moon

Lil Wayne Travels Back in Time to Drop "The Carter 12"

Richard Spenser Launches Career as UFO Abductee, Claims Contact With "Alien Master Race"

HEADLINES: FEBUARY 22, 2019

Clone Ronald Reagan to Challenge Trump in 2020 Republican Primary

Trump Administration to Declare Second National Emergency in Response to "Puppy Caravan"

Dick Cheney Shoots Entire Congress in Freak Hunting Accident

Yeti "Scientist" Invents Free Energy in Secret Mountain Laboratory

Elon Musk Announces Plan to Launch Luxury Mansion into Orbit

Insider Reveals:  "Dragons, Monsters, Nazi Space Elves"  Live On Underside of Flat Earth

HEADLINES: FEBUARY 21st, 2019

Declassified Documents Reveal:  Obama Planned to Launch "Communist Space Child"

Scientists Discover "Prometheus" Alien Missing Link Skeleton Which Proves Extra-Terrestrial Origins of Humanity

Howard Schultz Proposes "Billionaire History Month"  in an Attempt to Call Attention to "Wealth Genocide"

Christian Scholar Asks:  Is Armageddon Really Satan's "Biblical 9/11?"

In Response to Blackmail Threat, Jeff Bezos Releases 2006 Video Showing the Soon to be Amazon CEO Fighting Off Six Heavily Armed Inmates in Russian Prison

Alex Jones Implicated in Reptilian Shape Shifter Debacle at Mara Lago

HEADLINES: FEBUARY 20th, 2019

In Stunning Tell-All Barron Trump Reveals Trump-Putin Pipeline Beneath Trump Tower.  "Its all Real"

Physicists Announce Discovery of Long Sought After "Satan" Particle

Shocking Video Purports to Show Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is Really 3000 Year Old Vampire

HEADLINES: FEBUARY 19th 2019

Scientist Reveals: CERN is meant to create "Mandela Effect" Alternative Universe Where Communism Rules America

Noah's Ark Found in Alternative Dimension

Historical Study reveals:  5th Century Italian "Millennials"  Destroyed Roman Empire

HEADLINES: FEBUARY 18th, 2019

Government Insider Reveals:  Michael Jackson Died in Illuminati Funded Invasion of Antarctica

Jordan Peterson Founding "Millennial Room Cleaning" Charity Service

Tucker Carlson Rushed to Hospital After Face Frozen for Hours in Dumbfounded Expression.