The Mueller Investigation took an unexpected turn today when the Daily Q's own Special Investigative Reporter Lana Piranha was contacted by an unnamed insider within the Mueller investigation. This insider made shocking allegations: Last week President Trump accidentally "Butt Dialed" Robert Mueller during sensitive conversations with Russian President Vladimir Putin taking place in Trump Tower.
"Robert was surprised to get a call from Trump at all" Says the insider. "But when he started listening it became obvious there was some sort of sensitive negotiation underway, that was when Putin started talking and we realized he must be in Trump Tower. Everybody just jump up and started putting together the audio recording equipment."
According to the insider, the team managed to record over an hour of tape during which time Trump admits to committing over a dozen crimes and confirms collusion and business dealings with the Russians. Though the recording could not be provided, a transcript was provided to Daily Q: a short excerpt follows.
Trump: Vlad, i'm so glad you could come all this way, I hope the tunnel wasn't to crampt, it's a tremendous tunnel you know! We dug it ourselves, the best digging people. We've got them! Now where were we! Oh! Trading the Nuclear Codes for the Pee Tape! Right! Seems fair!
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