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Bible Scholar: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Revealed to be Koch Brothers; Mitch McConnell; Trump

By Lana Piranha



Today in a special report from The Daily Q, Bible Scholar Dr. Kara Ferrari comes forward about her Revelations Bible Code research taking place at the Indiana Institute of Indescribable Indoctrination.  According to Dr. Ferrari, her team has uncovered an ancient mathematical code written in The Book of Revelations, after two years of hard work they were able to translate the code, revealing details of the Apocalypse and the identity of the infamous Four Horsemen.

"The First shall be two, and the Second."  reads the cryptic first passage.  "They shall be one, and of the same generation.  They shall sow great destruction with their riches.  They shall go by the name of Koch."  According to Dr. Ferrari, this passage points to the identities of the first two horsemen;  None other than the Koch brothers, notorious capitalists and political operatives.

"And the third, he shall walk in the form of the turtle, and he shall speak slanders and untruths, and will be seen to have no shame in the pursuit of his enemies.  He shall lead the ones known as GOP"  According to Dr. Ferrari, this passage indicates the identity of the third horseman,  Mitch McConnell, Republican Senate Majority leader.

"And the fourth, he shall be as a swine, yet in the streets, they will not compare him to swine, for swine will be as angels of pure heart when compared to him.  He will wear a golden crown which he thinks is hair, he will sport a red hat and all who follow him will have red hats, they shall build a mighty wall for no reason.  You will know him standing atop a great tower emblazoned with the word, Trump".  Dr. Ferrari believes the identity of the last horseman may very well be Donald Trump.

"If that;s so"  Says Ferrari, "We are totally screwed"  Daily Q will keep you updated.

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