Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro made a surprising announcement this week, according to the surprising results of a 23 and me DNA testing kit, Shapiro is actually not a homo-sapien. Strong indicators point to Shapiro's true identity: A Scaly, Spineless Prehistoric "Lizardfish" thought by scientists to have been extinct for millions of years.
"This is stunning" Says Biologist Betty Biofilm. "It transforms everything we thought we knew about these creatures. We originally saw them as warm blooded, intelligent and empathic creatures. Now we see they are the most cold blooded, dim witted, morally bankrupt examples of multi-cellular life we have ever come across. Fascinating!"
"It is imperative Shapiro be preserved" Says Biofilm. "There is a great deal to be learned here about the evolution of lower organisms."
Daily Q will continue to report on this fascinating story as it evolves.
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