March 8th, 2019

Good morning, due to some unforeseen circumstances, Daily Q will publish today's headlines tomorrow, none of the stories will be time sensitive (Except maybe the "Escaped Zoo Animals Rampaging Upstate New York" story)  See you tomorrow!

HEADLINES: MARCH 7th, 2019

Experts Call on Jane Goodall to Analyse Trumps Behavior  "Best Possible Analogue in Chimpanzees"

New Interpretation of the Mayan Calendar Points to December 12, 2020 Apocalypse  "Here we go Again"

Insider Reveals:  Barron Trump is "Indigo Starchild" With Telepathic Abilities

Radio Personality Art Bell To Host Reality Talk Show Where Conspiracy Theorists Fight

 Confused Clint Eastwood Producing Vietnam War Movie Featuring Napoleon Bonaparte

HEADLINES: MARCH 6th, 2019

Spirit of Margaret Thatcher Appears Before Builderberg Group, Warns of "Ghost of Imperialism Past"

Rudy Giuliani Proposes "Blue New Deal" To Give Massive Tax Funding For New Cops

Right Outraged at Plan to Put Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Face on the 20$ Bill

Gang of Street Hardened Self Driving Cars Robs American Tourists in Copenhagen

Jerry Springer Revealed to be "Extra-Terrestrial Android" Conducting Decades Long Research on Human Behavior

HEADLINES: MARCH 5th, 2019

After Watching the 2005 Movie "War of the Worlds" Trump Causes Second Panic With "Alien Invasion" Tweet

Crowd of 10,000 People Brave "Apocalyptic" Weather Conditions to See Bernie Sanders Speak in Brooklyn

"Strong Woman"  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Releases Images of the Senator "Shooting Gun, Riding Horse, Fighting in Pro Wrestling Tournament"

Republican Party Announces Plan to Run High Powered Rifle for Nevada Governorship

Leaked Budget Documents Reveal Federal Tax Dollars Went to Mitch McConnell's "Volcano Island Lair"

HEADLINES: MARCH 4th, 2019

Trump Debuts “Wizard Of Oz” Style Giant Talking Head Display for Press Conferences

Glenn Beck Debuts Into The Art World With Conspiracy Flowchart Painting Exhibition

Headless Reanimated Corpse of Maximilian De Robespierre Seen Leading Revolutionary Mob Towards The White House.

Latest “Q Anon” Conspiracy Theory 4chan Post Claims Trump is Really Mueller Controlled Hologram Used to Distract From Investigation Into the "Deep State.”

HEADLINES: MARCH 2nd, 2019

Trump Supporter Has Been Hiding Out in Emergency Bunker Since Election Night Because He Didn't Realize Hillary Lost

The Socialist Restaurant That Makes You Cook Your Own Food and Then Pay For It

Jeff Bezos Challenges Elon Musk to Pistol Duel on Mars

"Savior"  A.I. Commits Suicide Moments After Being Activated

Trump's Hair Quits, Citing Hazardous Working Conditions and Unsatisfactory Pay

HEADLINES: MARCH 1st, 2019

"Saintly"  Michael Cohen Seen Floating on a White Cloud Towards Heaven

Donald Rumsfeld Launches Career in Physics With "Unknown Knowns" Theory of Quantum Field Dynamics

 Alt Right Shocked After King of the Norse Gods Odin Seen Participating in Black Lives Matter Rally

Scientific Study Shows:  Atlanteans Built The Flat Earth