New Yorkers where shocked today when sights of a glowing, angelic former Trump attorney Michael Cohen caused confusion and gridlock in downtown Manhatten. Cohen appeared to have a halo and be floating on a white fluffy cloud, dressed in white robes with his hands in prayer, the former attorney was apparently on his way to higher levels of the Firmament.
Many reacted with shock and outrage that Cohen managed to avoid his jail sentence by gaining eternal Saint-hood. "It goes against the basic tenants of any just legal system." Says criminal prosecutor Felony Lockemup. "If anyone can just become a saint by trying to bring down an up and coming dictator, then this whole system is for nothing!"
Others seemed more enthusiastic, congregations flocked to churches across the country to hear about the stunning apparition. "Behold the lord does work in mysterious ways" said Christian Pastor Shepherd Flockum. "If Jesus can find the good in Donald Trumps fixer, then he can find the good in you"
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