Today, a panel of experts from wide ranging disciplines called on Dr. Jane Goodall to perform an extensive analysis of Donald Trump's behavior. The panel called Goodall "The only expert with the right type of experience and training" and "Chimpanzees the best possible analogue to Trump."
"He's clearly demonstrating various types of aggressive male behavior" said Goodall in a press conference where she gladly accepted the task, "These types of behaviors occur specifically in Chimps with a low intelligence and social standing who use trickery and violence to claw their way to the top."
Goodall went on to term the characteristics as part of the "Con Man" social type, denoted by its tendency to lying, cheating, stealing, killing and winning at any cost necessary. Whats more the con man type chimps tended toward a mafia like structure, enforcing hierarchies through violence and coercion, where as in normal chimp societies there is a much more egalitarian social structure.
In conclusion, Goodall stated unequivocally "The man should be impeached, fired, stripped of his earning, ect. He is without a doubt unfit to care for a cactus plant." The panel was satisfied with Goodall's findings.
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