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Donald Rumsfeld Launches Career in Physics With "Unknown Knowns" Theory of Quantum Field Dynamics

By Xander Schemander



The physics world was abuzz today after former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld published his first peer reviewed paper in the Journal of Extraordinary Dynamics based at Oxford.  According to other physicists who read the work, Rumsfeld is proposing something he calls the "Unknown Knowns" theory of quantum field dynamics.

"There are things we know we know"  Rumsfeld told the press. "And there are things we don't know we don't know.  The unknown knowns go with the knowns and the unknowns go with the known that we know we don't know!"

Describing the theory to a layperson is difficult, but the basic gist of it appears to be that in any atom the electron can be found somewhere north south east or west of the nucleus.

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