There was panic today at the white house after secret service agents realized they had lost track of the president during a #Trashtag white house cleanup event meant to capitalize off the social media craze. Trump was later located in a dumpster several blocks away, dazed and soiled but unharmed.
Daily Q's own Xander Schemander was on the scene and spoke to white house corespondent, according to them, the president was wandering around the grounds of the white house during the event mumbling to himself when he tripped on a tree root and became entangled in a garbage pile. Later, #Trashtag volunteers mistook the President for trash and bagged him up with the rest of the garbage.
Hours later, blocks away, the President managed to force the top off a dumpster and emerged panting and besmirched with refuse, a local homeless man took pity on him and called the police who arrived quickly and escorted the bedraggled commander and chief back to the white house.
Arriving home safe, the President dined on the fine cuisine of KFC and Wendy's, resting safe in the fact that, though he is garbage, at least homeless people care enough to help even the most miserable pathetic piece of refuse. Hours later, Trump returned to tweeting about immigrant caravans and Russian witch hunts, showing that he is absolutely unable to grasp even the most basic moral hypotheses. Daily Q will continue to follow this dumpsterfire of a Presidency.
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