Physicists working at M.I.T. made an unexpected announcement today: A startling discovery has shown that the Standard Model of Physics fails to predict the rate at which Democratic Presidential hopeful Joe Biden's Campaign has imploded.
"After crunching the numbers, we realized that our models we're unable to predict the devastating collapse of Biden's aspirations." says Vector Oblique, a mathematician and project specialist. "This is a very exciting moment, it's the moment when you realize you don't know something when the real discovery is made! This is the first time an old fossil has made such a huge impact outside the field of Paleontology!"
In response to the study, Joe Biden released a rambling video in which he quickly veered of subject and ended up defending deforestation and slavery in the Roman Empire. Hillary Clinton also appeared in a television interview in which she called Biden's statements "Groundbreaking" and "Inspiring", after which she announced she was back in the 2020 race, only to again conceded minutes later.
No one knows how this primary season will play out, but it's certainly going to be interesting. Daily Q will be there reporting from the sidelines.
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