There was outrage today when it emerged that Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh had spilled a glass of beer on the constitution of the United States while attending a late night party at the national archives.
The incident might have gone unnoticed except that an inebriated an panicked Kavanaugh tried to "Fix" the constitution by replacing it with a hand made version, complete with cut out words from magazines and a few colorful illustrations in the margins. The original was found stuffed in a trash can along with several yearbooks and crushed empties, leading authorities to track down members of congress who had also attended the party.
Senator Lindsay Graham and Senator Steven King both denied being there despite security footage and multiple witnesses corroborating their presence. Apparently it was Graham's idea to pull out the Constitution in order to win a bet with King about whether or not Hitler was one of the signatories of the document. The situation quickly escalated as an inebriated Kavanaugh approached and tried to dry hump the constitution, spilling his drink all over the document.
In an interview earlier today, Kavanaugh called the accusations "shameful" and said he quote "Loved beer way to much to spill any".
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