Today, at a yearly ceremony held in Washington DC, President Trump emerged from his hole to check if he saw his shadow. This year, a nervous looking Trump saw his shadow before darting back into the safety of his cage, signaling one more year of despotism in America.
Crowds were visibly disappointed at the results as for the third year running Trump has seen his shadow. "When will this long national nightmare end?" One festival goer is quoted as saying. "It's ridiculous that a lazy, fat rodent who sleeps in a bed of wood shavings gets to make such an important decision, let alone if we actually left it up to a groundhog! Can you imagine?"
But the Trump administration was quick to spin the results. Press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders appeared at a press conference saying "The lying media is trying to spin the truth about the President. The President did not see his shadow. The President has no shadow. The President never has nor never will have a shadow. Anyone who tries to imply that the President has ever had a shadow is a lying despicable traitor who wants to frame and destroy the President. He is a good man.
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What will the year hold in store? Only time can tell...and that fat dirty little rodent Donald Trump.
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